I am done with the sharp edges — the rigid surfaces. You will not find me seeking the upmost knowledge, or reaching the loftiest goal. I will not be shouting from the mountaintops about anything that I know.

I once venmo’d a woman $2.22 because she let me use her room to cry at a party.

Are you in service or self? And why don’t you move between the two? It’s okay to move between the two. There are moments to be in service. There are moments to be in self.

“Well, ok, so let’s talk about it for you. What gets you out of bed in the morning?” She brightly questioned, and I sighed, going silent for a long while, lost in my thoughts. She sat in silence on the other end with me.

Thus began my intimidating healing journey of Jiu Jitsu.

Fight for your worth. It matters.

It leads me to ask the question: did I experience worse things in a past life? And if I did, am I doing really really good right now? Or the scarier question, am I absolutely traumatizing myself on Earth for no reason when I could just be sitting on a cloud somewhere with absolutely no pain at all somehow?

“Did I eat today? Did I stretch or take vitamins? Did I look at my planner? Did I accomplish any of my routine daily tasks? Did I water my plant? Did I pet a dog? DID I DRINK WATER?”

Because chances are you know nothing at all, and are just waking up.

If I had known you’d affect me this way. That I’d be having numerous nightmares of that night, that it would seem nearly impossible to get you out of me, or to experience healthy intimacy.

Set free friends who decided to part

What's meant to be will be

Another state, another waterfall I am swimming in all alone.

Just like a purple flower sways in the wind as you walk past it on a hiking trail admiring its beauty?

It’s all just what we’re hyper-focused on. Everyone struggles the same amount, in different ways.

I have learned that I will never expect anyone to meet me, and I wish you all well on your journeys, wherever you go. I came here to meet all of you for a reason, yet it doesn’t always mean I get to keep you.

But hornets are a different story. It’s been half an hour, now, watching this hornet fly around my room, my heart jolting and racing each time it gets up to fly around. I move each time, working to stay far away from it. It was in these moments of shocks of fear as it flew that I had the realization of what the hornet was representing in my life.