joshua tree

The best thing about my birthday trip was that I was with people who make me feel like I’m home. I think if you live around people for long periods of time, you feel comforted by their energy. It’s always been that way with Brittney. And when Katey and Nico strolled down the sidewalk to approach me at the cafe in Joshua Tree, it being the first time I’d seen them in 6 months, I felt that warmth of their greeting. They’re two people who aren’t unpredictable in my relation to them in life, which makes me feel safe. I imagine myself living alongside them in a village many lifetimes ago, them being my friendly neighbors who came over for tea every now and then. And I say that not to take away from the fact that we are very good friends in this lifetime, I say that my energy bond to them feels differently than my energy bonds to many others. Some people, like them, are in your life to be your dependable friends. Some people are in your life to be tumultuous, intense family. Either way, you’re learning all about yourself and the soul and the earth either way, and it is all profound.

Being around them as creatives was something I’ve been craving for sure, that intellectual stimulation about art and the earth. I feel I’ve had plenty of deep spiritual conversations lately, and I’m good in that department, so catching up with them was very grounding in a way, and also inspiring.

I also found it interesting reflecting on my time at the groves, and how that Bri was so entirely different than this Bri. How, when I actually think about it, if I was ever in that situation again, I’d do it completely differently.

Why is it that you have to move away from a place to realize exactly how you fit into it? It’s bizarre to me. But I feel it has to do with the box you build for yourself related to what you know about the thing, and how you feel you should show up when in relation to the place, the person, the situation.

It would be different, now, coming at it all through the eyes of this Bri. This Bri knows who she is, and would know what boundaries to set, because she knows what is good and bad for her. This Bri would likely love cooking, and tending to the Earth and the garden, because she’d come at it from her own sense of knowing how it nurtures her and the others around her.

This Bri would likely better know how to be communicative about her boundaries around her time for her art, her work, and her social life.

Which again, just leads me back to the belief of, change is the initiator of transformation. Different environments inspire different ways of thinking. Different energies activate different parts of yourself.

I am grateful for friends like Katey and Nico, and many others, who know that me spreading my wings, and embarking on personal transformation, means that I am doing it to strengthen my connection with myself, thus strengthening my connections with others. Those who are able to see and hold this part of me I treasure, because I see and hold that in almost everybody I know, and it is a mirror that I very much care about.

Everyone is on their own soul journey learning unique soul lessons, and there is nothing I can do to control anyone in how they show up in the world. I am the creator of my happiness. I am aware of the thoughts that move through my mind, and know exactly how they create belief systems that build my entire world. This is what it’s like to be apart of the human experience.

I choose to listen to and move with the soul instead.