kalakazoo

I’m in a coffee shop in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I love the name Kalamazoo, but I think it should be KalaKAZOO, that would be better, and they could sell a lot of kazoos if they wanted. I suddenly want to buy a kazoo.

They gave me an iced coffee in a hot cup, and I really like that. Let’s do away with the plastic, what’s it good for?

I only came here because Katey Rissi told me she liked it. I like the thought that I’m on this random road trip across the country and I’m sitting in my friend’s college town. I did the same thing when I went to visit Helene, hanging out with Peri in Helene’s college town. So many people I know have been so many places and have had so many different experiences. So have I. It seems like I’ve lived many lives in the span of one lifetime.

I think I am done hiding for good, I know myself too well these days, and I can’t find the fear related to other people not understanding me anymore. Because do you wanna know how people better understand you?

You speak up about your experience, and start talking about your needs in friendships and relationships. Crazy, I know, that you can just talk about who you are and see who sticks around and talks about who they are alongside you, and then, you don’t have to worry who will and won’t accept you!

At the end of the day, and at the end of your life, you still have to reconcile with you. I think that’s why so many people are stressed out typically, mental health wise. They watch what other people do and try to get good ideas from all of these outside sources to change their lives for the better but don’t realize that nobody else has their exact energetic makeup. They don’t realize that the thing they’re looking for is only specific to them. Wherever your inner pull is, that’s where you need to go, especially if it’s leading you to pain. Look at that shit! Surprisingly, I’ve learned, that’s where your joy is…

And yes, most people won’t understand your specific choices, naturally. Because of how different everyone’s energy is.

I say that so nonchalantly, like everyone should know it. I think everyone does know it on some level, they just describe it in different ways. They say it through quotes in philosophy, read it out of the bible without truly seeing it, they write it in songs, share pictures of it on social media, they show it in their actions… We’re all expressing the same sentiments differently, using our energy in different ways, at different times in our lives, through different awakenings, going deeper into this weird life experience to know it all better and better.

I love it. And I love you. And I love me, too.

‘til next time, Kalakazoo.