a tribute to grandmommy gwen

I heard the surprising news this morning, just as I woke up, and walked over to my tray of jewelry, clipping on the expensive tennis bracelet you gave me for Christmas one year. I have never been used to receiving lavish gifts like this, and so wearing it today, I hope to sprinkle some of your worth onto this weird girl who thinks she is too disconnected from the world to have authentic relationships, or material abundance.

You have always been very good at both of those. You courageously spoke your mind with an underlying kindness to all that knew you, and I didn’t even get to know you for very long, just fourteen years. That never mattered to you, though, as you sent me sweet cards every birthday that were filled with your love, and acceptance. You desperately wanted me to know that I was one of yours, too.

I imagine that’s how many felt around you, included. You advocated for many others and their lives. I know, because of our many talks on the education system, something you knew much about, being a superintendent.

You traveled many places around the world, so you knew that staying in the box wasn’t what it was all about. You knew there was a magic to it all, and many different sides to the story. You were daring, independent, and had much to say about this planet, and I was always happy to hear about it, agreeing very much with what you said.

I am happy to know a beautiful, sassy elder like you, one who explores, and adventures, and has so much to say. I am sad that I no longer will be receiving warm and friendly greetings from you in the mail, as it was always one of my favorite things.

I promised you I’d travel, and you even paid for me to get my passport, and I did, I got it, right before Covid hit. I never did leave the country, even though I wanted to.

I will get out and see the world, I solemnly swear, this passport you gifted me won’t go to waste, and everywhere I decide to go, I will think of you, and your loving words.

Thank you for the many gifts you so freely gave me in this life. I’m so happy to have an amazing woman like you in my spirit corner, now. Maybe you can whisper advice in my ear about how to help the little ones, or where I should travel next, or how I can go about having a little grounding, comforting dog in my own life.

I imagine you and Grandaddy Ted meeting at a fancy restaurant in a foreign country on the other side, laughing and catching up on everything that has happened since his death. I imagine that big smile spread across your face as you see him again.

I love you. Rest in Power, Grandmommy Gwen.