bye social media
The two kindred souls that I feel have energy most like me winked at me on the astral today after a very interesting realization of mine.
It wasn’t anything new. It was just a perspective I’ve had that hasn’t truly resonated until recently, and that is,
“I didn’t come here to spend most of my focus on connecting with people, maybe that is others’ soul path, but that’s not what I chose for my soul’s journey this time around. It’s taking too much of my time, and this life is incredibly short. I have room for a few to be intimate with. I need to be expressing and creating over everything else. I want to still show my love for all others in the world in a different way, and also follow my life’s purpose.”
Reflecting on this is difficult for me. So much of my life has been spent trying to please and connect with other people and trying to prove to them just how much I love and understand them. And then once I take that out of the equation, and I am left looking at my soul and it’s purpose, it is almost a shock into a different timeline for me.
The hard part about this realization is knowing that others might see this very strangely, as if I’m shutting myself off from the world and from them and not caring anymore, which I have been trying to avoid this whole year, it seems. But now I have acceptance of what I need to do and what my soul-growth path is.
The downloads I am receiving are that I was given a very specific skillset that I won’t be able to be successful with if I am repeating the same karmic cycles and diving into soul bond energy with the many people in my life. It’s like because I am so sensitive it debilitates me to the point of not being able to function, and my guides have been trying to make this clear to me all year. I am finally listening to them.
If people aren’t aware, I AM HELLA SENSITIVE. I’m not just talking about kinda sensitive, like someone who just has a hard time in social situations. Y’all, I see and feel everything about your energy all the time. I feel what you feel. I am at a coffee shop right now and am picking up on the energy of at least 5 tables of people and what they are doing in life. There is also a spirit here who is being VERY obnoxious trying to get my attention, and I told him I just don’t have the time.
This is what I mean. Being sensitive means your energy meshes with those of others all the time. So while I may be able to show the most amount of love someone’s EVER known, I can also go cold not too long after because I’m trying to get my energy back, because once I open that gate to give it to you, it’s like the floodgates of love headed your way and there’s no stopping it. Again. Sensitive. I’m not the only person in my family this way, I swear to you.
Lucky for me I’ve been able to find more balance and not spend all my energy on people and situations, which has been me working through my karma, because I have an awareness that it’s meant to be spread to everyone, at different points.
I’ve had this understanding about me for a while. It’s why I’ll never fit into a friend group, and why I’ll never settle. I connect with pisces, the world, that’s my life path, based on my astrology chart. So my energy won’t all just go to my partner, or to my friend group, or to my family, or to my work life. It’s essentially spread everywhere, and thats where I feel it to be most natural. So it’s finding other people who understand this and know this about me and are okay with it. It is just insane to me how many different people exist in the world with different karmic paths and personalities and energy and how every single one is going to mesh different with another. Why would I be sad that I haven’t found a romantic one that matches my energy yet? Knowing how big this world is?
I know she is out there, evolving her soul, knowing we’re meant to be free together. Working on our souls together. Expressing our authentic and creative selves together. I can’t wait to meet her. Perhaps I already have.
I sobbed last night watching Ana E Vitoria on Netflix. I didn’t know at first why that was the film I was drawn to, because I don’t typically watch movies, especially foreign films, but my intuition helped me out big time and guided me to the perfect one for Venus Retrograde.
from “Ana E Vitoria”
Love is unexpected. Sometimes it’s the random person you met at a party 5 years ago who you just never stopped thinking about and reconnect with. Sometimes it is the person you feel most intense with, and your path is to grow closer and more committed working through the karmic stuff to find balance between you. Sometimes it’s your best friend who knows everything about you, and it grows into something more. Sometimes it’s the soul mate that you meet at a coffee shop one day and fall into their arms because everything is easy. I don’t think it’s written in stone. I think it’s your choice on which love path you decide to follow, based on who you meet, and how you work on yourself.
Maybe I’ve been missing out on love because I’ve been watching it all like a movie in my head, instead of making any moves. I’ve been watching my own life and others’ lives like a movie in my head all this time, seeing their stories, watching their dynamics, quietly getting lost in their emotions, while they all look back at me as if I’m a blank screen who has nothing to say.
Turns out I do have quite a bit to say, about it all, and I’d really love to share. Without expectation or reward or with an audience in mind. On this blog. And my youtube channel.
Maybe others find it, or maybe they don’t. Either way, it’s me authentically expressing and filling my cup so I can fill others’, and that’s really all that matters.
