heart opening

I am truly continually amazed at the ways I expand and learn from life experience. If I did not have trust in spirit, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

This entire past year has been like one long awake shamanic journey, my guides taking me step by step through all of the deep parts of me that needed healing so I could step into a new version of myself. I was unsure at first, I certainly had the option of having a complete mental breakdown, but I didn’t choose that route. Instead, I trusted that the unknown held the answers I was looking for, and I stepped into the dark, holding the hand of the universe, and I met a lot of people along the way that made it worth my while. They brought me the understanding I needed to continue my life the way it is now. And wow, I can’t believe how much my life has changed.

What I found this past year in the dark was truly amazing, regarding so many of my past experiences, and this past week has not been any different. I did not want to leap with this. But I did. Because I trust her, and I trust me, and I trust that where we’re going is better than where we’ve been. It has to be. I won’t accept anything different. And I just have a feeling like this isn’t the first time we’ve done this. And also, I have so much trust in where we’re going that I know regardless of what happens in our connection, we will be okay.

I have so much love to give so many people, in so many different ways, and I am excited for the opportunities where I finally receive as much as I give other people. I know a lot of my giving is done in secret, classic Pisces, where others don’t maybe notice how much I’m giving. But that’s okay. I’ve always said it’s okay. I’ve always allowed people to take the love I so freely offer and I never say anything because I truly just believe the people I meet deserve it. I see them deeply at their core and in their souls and there are so many people that don’t believe in them because of how they present on the surface, and I don’t mind being the one who always looks beneath. I don’t mind being the dreamer.

But I also, as the dreamer, deserve the dream coming into my reality, too. And that is something I am very much learning about myself right now, as I step into this fiery, confident, passionate version of myself where I spend all of my time creating and taking care of myself, and nurturing relationships that are nurturing me, too. My newfound boundaries are empowering and the energy seems to move and flow in very specific, pointed ways where I manifest exactly what I’m looking to manifest.

It feels a little like cheating. It feels a little like magic. Energy work is essentially magic. Sometimes I look at other people and I think, “well just do the thing that I do and you’ll be the happiest EVER!” And then I remember that is not something I can just tell someone. They have to get there through experience. They have to get there through their own healing work, and I can’t just TELL them to do that. I can maybe drop hints, but it truly is somewhat complicated to try to explain. Because it’s not so much explaining, as it is feeling, and transmuting.

I know the whole concept of feeling is somewhat foreign to other people. I am aware of this just because of how many conversations I’ve had with others who can’t do anything but cope with their emotions. I want so deeply to shake them at their shoulders and say, “don’t you realize the coping is making you sick?! Don’t you realize that the more you push this thing away, and the more that you distract yourself from the energy that moves around inside of you, it will come back to attack you when you are staring at it in the face?!”

But I don’t think there is really a kind way to say that to strangers, or even to the people I know personally, so I will sit here and watch it all happen from behind the scenes.

My feelings save me time and time again. Pain demands to be felt, and moved through. Same thing with many other emotions. They want to be acknowledged, and moved through. Every time I move it through in the moment, when it demands to be felt, there is some kind of reward that always comes afterwards. Like a golden sticker from the universe saying, “Hey, you took care of your spiritual body today, you get to move through the world feeling really happy, here’s an amazing treat.”

If others had this understanding, that their emotional/spiritual body is just as critical as taking care of their physical and mental bodies, then I think the entire world would change. If people realized that heartbreak is just as serious as a broken leg, and that there are very specific tools to heal it energetically so you can move forward in your life and not relive destructive cycles, I think the entire world would change.

I am looking for others who notice this, who see this as being extremely important in taking care of Mind, Body, and Spirit.

I am tired of being the one who is always called too sensitive. Everybody is too sensitive. Whether you decide to remove your conditioning and feel it all to move into a space of freedom and bliss is up to you.

I know, I’m getting cocky now with my matter-of-fact spiritual information, huh? Well, it’s a good thing I’m always there for myself, then. I can always trust me to take care of me when everyone else sees me as a strange alien.

To be quite frank, you could think it’s cool that I can tune in psychically and know this, but I think it’s really cool that other people know how to be in partnerships, and how to garden, and can sit for long periods of time and read large sums of information. We all have the thing that is natural. Just because mine is spiritual-related, doesn’t make me any better than you, I promise to God. There are downsides to everything, and I could tell you all about the terror of my “gifts” if you ever care to ask.

Until then these are my naturally expressed words, on this blog that is for creatively expressing me, and nothing else.