ruminating on relationships
angels
Sometimes you meet the people who celebrate you in your highs and hold you in your lows. They are the ones who mainly see you in your light and hold you there a majority of the time. From day one they can appreciate and understand you for who you are, and they never need anything else. You sit next to them on car rides and laugh and sing and scream with them, and can also sit in silence for hours as you both ruminate in your heads next to each other. You see each other in person, you are safe in each other’s arms and you hug often. They notice your dark and light sides and love you for all of it. You rarely argue because you notice where they’re coming from. You don’t have to do any mental contortions to understand how they can possibly be behaving the way that they are. These are your angels. They are heavily enmeshed in your experience. Hold onto them tight and don’t take advantage of them. They will likely stay and show up for you throughout your life because they see and sense that your innermost self is safe to them. They will mirror back to you what true, unconditional love really is.
karmics
Sometimes you meet the people who are your karmics. They come in to teach you a lesson about how you show up in the world, based on how they show up in the world. How these people show up for you is sporadic and inconsistent. Sometimes they make you feel the most loved in the world, and you will feel the most connected to them you’ve ever felt. But they also make you feel the most isolated and alone of any of your relationships, because of how deeply loved they also make you feel. You may have psychic connections with them, and may not understand how you know how deeply they are feeling and what they may feel drawn to in their experience. Because of these deep energetic connections, they are sometimes mistaken for true loves and twin flames but can show up in any type of relationship. Your karmics may or may not stay in your life, because of the intense push and pull and because of the light and darkness you intensely mirror within one another. You may have more success keeping them around if you set a healthy boundary. One thing is for certain, though: These people level up your soul unlike any other connection. You are changed drastically by meeting them. You love them forever, and may even hate them a lot, but you never stop appreciating all of the profound lessons they taught you. You always wish you’d have way more time with them, or that you’d never met them at all.
heroes & heroines
Sometimes you meet the people who only notice you in your lows. They come in to save the day, and bump up your light frequency. You can show them your deepest darks and they get it, because they’ve been there. You are in awe that they see your dark and aren’t scared of it. They desire to take care of you and nurture you when you’re having a hard time, but then leave when you’re ok. These are your heroes & heroines. They will not show up for you when you’re in your highs, or to ask how your day is and laugh about what’s happening in your life. They will disappear when they can’t fill a role that is nurturing or saving you in some way. They have so many people that they operate in this way with that it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, it just means that their love is dispersed to many people. Love and appreciate these people for everything they have done for you, but don’t expect them to always show up for you, because that’s not their role. They love in very specific ways, and it’s never wrong, they are being themselves in their dynamic to you. They show you love through service and leadership.
light vampires
Sometimes you meet the people that only want to be around you because of the light and good you bring them, and they are light vampires. They drain your energy because they expect you to be the one that’s supporting them all the time. When you’re with them, things better be fun or better be good, or else they’re going to complain about how it needs to change. If you’re compassionate, you won’t realize you’re in relationship with these people until way later, when you look back and realize that they only liked you when you were helpful or giving them your light. All you are is an energy source to these people, so they’re going to do whatever they can to keep you in their life so that they can feed off your joy. Eventually these kind of people are hard to sustain because they’re going to find something wrong with everything you do, and you’ll be left feeling exhausted, with no energy left to give them or anyone else for that matter. These are the one-sided relationships where you are giving a lot in the relationship, and they are receiving most of it, and unable to give back. In relationships like these, you need strong boundaries and a strong sense of self so you are able to save your time and energy for what and who gives back energy to you.
consistents
Sometimes you meet the people who are sort of in the background of your life, who pop up every now and then to remind you that they care about you. They’re not around a ton, but they never really leave either, so they are consistents. A lot of family members could fall in this category, maybe ones that you love but don’t carry a deep soul bond with like an angel or a karmic. You could call them up about something you’re going through and talk with them casually and it will be as if no time has passed, but then after, they go back to their life and you go back to yours for whatever length of time. They are not heavily enmeshed in your experience, but they show care for you, and you appreciate them deeply. They are so needed in your life so you have connections that aren’t energy heavy. Flowing with them feels comfortable. Relating feels like a playful experience. These are friends or family you love to be around when you’re around them, but then detach from because your lifestyles and belief systems may not really align. Openly show these people how much you care, but be aware of how much energy you give them. Some will match you, but others may not based on their lifestyle and what they believe in.
passer-bys
Sometimes you meet the people that are only in your life for a certain period of time, and you drift away from each other but you still carry them in your heart. These are the passer-bys. You remember their faces, and their stories, and they impact you, but they are people you are only meant to experience in person for a short period of time. For whatever reason, the connection doesn’t carry on past a certain point, but you can appreciate each other for the joy and memories you shared when you shared them. You may lose communication, and you can’t bring yourself to find a reason to reach out to them again, even though you appreciate the person they are. Don’t feel dismayed if you feel you lose people in this way. There are some people who are there for you in certain times or periods of life for when you connect with their energy, and then you both are meant to find others to connect with. You learn from these connections, realizing how people operate and how different people are and can be in friendships and relationships.
no-thank-yous
Then there are the people you meet that you just don’t vibe with at all. They make you wanna say, “no, thank you!” When you talk to them you have a hard time connecting and don’t understand them one bit. Some of them may even repulse you as you talk to them, and you don’t easily see how they operate the way that they operate. These are people you don’t want to be around. They don’t tend to add value to your life and you don’t desire to give them any of your energy. You don’t wish ill on them but you also don’t want to be involved in their life at all. They are of a different soul group - feeling like a different species, and you wish them well on what they do in the world as long as they do it while not around you! If you have to give them your energy because of the work you do, make sure you are conscious of what you are giving them.
I understand there are people in life who may not fit into any of these categories, as the relational experience is complex. But I wanted to write about what I’ve noticed while ruminating on relationships. Maybe because I see how people in my life fit into these categories, and in that way it is easier to set boundaries and to nurture my own energy as I identify who I’d like to give my energy to and spend time with, based on my relational dynamics with them.
It’s been a journey, that’s for sure. I’ll probably learn a lot more about it as I get older and my perspective shifts and changes. I can always count on that.
