2 years.

You crept in like a dull ache on July 31st. I didn’t understand why. I hadn’t thought of you in months.

I was driving and I thought, “Why am I thinking of her? There is no reason to. I don’t care about her anymore. I accept that she will never give me closure. I know we will never speak again. We have no connections linking us anymore. I don’t hear of her. I don’t see her anywhere. So why am I thinking of her?”

And then I got home, and I looked up the last email you ever sent. It was on July 31st. That was the last I ever heard from you. My jaw dropped open at the realization.

My energy remembers the day you shattered my heart, even when my mind doesn’t. It is subconsciously imprinted in me. As much as I want to find closure with you, I can’t. I won’t. You won’t allow me to. I accept you for how you are and how you behave.

So this time is always a good check in point, to say the same things, or maybe something different, depending on where my energy is at every year.

To this day you’re still the only person I’ve ever been in love with. Thanks for breaking my naive little heart so I could be the beautiful person I am today.