putting out fires

I’m starting to wonder how this relates to my life path.

Because this is not the first time I’ve been at a hostel or airbnb with my heart beating out of my chest in the middle of the night because I suddenly smell smoke while spirit is yelling “get out!! Get out!!” In my ear as I spring out of bed.

So I put on my brave face, unlocked my door, looked around to see nobody in sight, stumbled into the kitchen, where I found food out and a pan smoking.

I turned it off. I took care of it. This hostel ain’t burning down today.

So now it’s 1am, and I’ve texted the woman who owns this place telling her what’s going on, and I’m in my room cuddling with my spirit guides with adrenaline pumping through my veins. In pure fight or flight.

While everyone else is sound asleep.

And it’s in these moments that I love and hate being so sensitive.

It’s in these moments I want someone to be next to my body to help calm it down, because it takes so long. It takes so long doing it on my own.

If everything in my life is a reflection of me, how many fires do I put out in my relationships, in situations, and in the world, that nobody can ever see?

Is this the Pisces way, is this just me being me? Just doing it to be kind? Not needing the recognition or story or intellectual re-tell?

Quietly moving through the world, doing what I feel serves the most in the end, while not being seen for any of it.

It’s sort of why I just want one person to lay next to me while I do it all. To experience me while I experience.

So I know I exist, that I’m not just a ghost moving on this earth plane.

That these fires in my life aren’t just dreams I’ll wake up from tomorrow, moving on with my day like nothing even happened.