1:52 am: Learning from Allison DuBois

It’s 1:52 am, and I remember, just now, that writing is what I do best. I just finished listening to a podcast by Allison DuBois, one of the only people in the world who gets what it’s like to be the way that I am. Why I chose to listen to this specific podcast at 1 in the morning is beyond me, but I scrolled through her list and knew I needed to listen to it after being startled awake. No surprise that the premise was about following a spiritual path in life and doing things that fit you best.

So I thought, after listening to her honest expressions of who she is, perhaps, wow, maybe I should start sharing my honest experiences of who I am.

And tonight, it’s about waking up to the wind and the thunder. I have not slept well through the night in a long time, not since I’ve awakened to the new parts of myself. So whether it’s ghosts whispering in my ear, or waking up to nature and its messages, I am awake. (cue booming thunder, and lightning strike in the background)

Allison’s Honesty

Do you ever meet someone and just know that you knew them in a past life? I’ve never even met Allison, and I have that experience with her. I don’t know what would happen if I did meet her. Her energy is familiar, like I’ve listened to her speak her honest truth in many lifetimes before, like it awakens something in me each time. There is something to learn from it.

I don’t view many people the way that I view her. She is a sort of medium mentor momma to me, or at least that’s what I call her. I live a good portion of my life in a different dimension, and while Allison and I don’t interact in person, I am constantly running into her on the astral and energetically, and I find it curious. Maybe that’s what led me to sign up for her Dead University course, so I could meet other mediums just like me and share my experiences and practice with them. It’s been quite healing, in a way. I was a bit emotional today after she commented saying she was proud of me. Nobody is ever proud of me for my freakiness, Allison. Being a medium, I am told over and over again that I am too sensitive and feel too much and need to get over things while I am constantly processing them, so to hear that you were proud of me today after using my gifts hit a tender spot, for sure.

I keep telling myself I can’t be a professional medium. And yet, it comes to the forefront of my life over and over again. My friend Shelly, who is a medium as well, says it’s only a matter of time, and I feel like these days, I might believe her.

I don’t want people to know I can do this. I see how mediums are treated in negative ways. I think both Shelly and Allison carry it well. But what I notice the most is they carry themselves well. They’ve accepted who they are and move forward with it every single day.

The more that I am in this wishy washy in between stage, I feel the more trouble I will have. So I have some decision-making to do about my life path, and where my focus goes. Where does my energy go all day? How much of my day is dedicated to being my authentic self, or hiding it?

Coming Out

How many times in life do I have to keep coming out? How many layers are there to this multi-dimensional being named Bri?

Coming out as queer, coming out as a musician, coming out as a medium. What is next?

I hear spirit a lot. Maybe people don’t understand that about me. I don’t like large crowds, and I never have. I can hear people’s thoughts. I can hear the other side’s thoughts. I have an uncanny ability to stay away from people who cause harm. I have prophetic dreams. I feel energy move through me in very tangible ways.

The mystery illness I’ve had all my life was me dissociating, refusing to process all of the stimuli that I’ve been absorbing into my body since I was a little girl. And now that I’ve realized that’s the problem, I’m channeling energy and doing things I never thought I could do.

I have so many stories. I want to share them all.

People might not care to believe me, but I guess that’s not the point. The point is me sharing them because I believe them. They happened to me. They are not just hidden in this bosom with the rest of my story that I carry around quietly, hoping nobody will ask.

Staying silent is not what Allison does. She speaks up, and by doing that, she creates a boundary, something that I need to start doing a lot more of for my own sanity.