death of feeling

Do you ever feel it - the way that I do?
Where your whole body goes numb, and you look around and can’t find anything to connect to?

It’s as if your heart becomes a spiral, pulling you inward over and over again, and you feel as if you can’t breathe, and your chest is about to burst.

You know it’s temporary. You know it’s a process you’re moving through.

But in the moment, it feels as if there is no air left to breathe.

You walk around and the colors fade from the trees. The sky is the same old color it’s always been.

It is the death of feeling - drowning in the abyss. Hoping something will float by in the vast nothingness to give you some air.

To bring light back to the sun.

Because it doesn’t always help to know that the sun is you when there are clouds that cover it up sometimes - even dark thunderous ones you’re not sure will ever pass.

The secret is that they always pass.

And if you really don’t believe that, well then, you’re on to a new adventure.