tired

of trying to make it right. of trying to figure it out. of trying to be authentic. of trying to heal. of trying to think of everyone else’s needs before mine so that people are safe. of putting so much energy into reading the energy of other people. of giving more than I receive for the hope of connection with others. of starting over again and again. of hiding the truth to make others comfortable. of being invisible. of being so sensitive. of being so sick. of spirituality and ruminating on the universe. of working. of money. of heartbreak. of the cold. of moving.

of living.

I would dream for days if I could. but reality and curiosity are my alarm clock, making sure I wake.

The day I die, whenever that is, rejoice for me. It will have been what I’ve always wanted…

To rest.