My Midnight Gospel Truth
Rejection doesn’t bother me, because I’ve got many a person to converse with in earth & spirit realms. A bold statement to start a blog with. But I think about it a lot.
Last night I dreamt about sweet, sweet Shelly. She had a lot to say and a lot to show me. I don’t know whether to take it literally and reach out to her. I am somewhat scared of healers right now as I am stepping into my own gifts. But that is my own wounding, and part of my own past karma I’m working through in Sag season. It confuses me all the time.
Over the past couple days, the song “in the dark of the night” from Anastasia has been playing through my head. This is strange because I haven’t seen Anastasia in a very long time, and didn’t even know that song was in my consciousness. I was curious so I just watched it on YouTube a few minutes ago to remember what it was. It’s Rasputin singing about evil finding Anya in the dark of the night and there were a bunch of evil spirits stomping around. This is sort of an ominous sign to just pop into my awareness, but it doesn’t scare me. I’ve been through the depths of my own fears, and I trust spirit with my life, and death.
A few days ago, I was driving down the street and was approaching a stoplight. A man walking on the sidewalk saw my car, turned around from the way that he was walking, and sprinted down the road to get to my car, in the midst of many others. He then started screaming at me through the window for no reason. It was all kinds of profanities, and he was getting really close to my car. This spooked me, but I didn’t react. I thought he would do something physical to my car because he was so close, but he didn’t, I just did energy work in my head instead, and I would inch forward every time a car would turn right and still, he walked along with my car, screaming nonsense words at me through the window with crazy eyes. Reading his energy, it did feel like a demon was trying to get my attention. This is not the first time this has happened to me. A woman in Seattle in the middle of a crowd sought me out and did the same thing this man did once, and it felt like another being was threatened by my presence for seemingly just existing. Amy once told me we have this affect on people, and I’m starting to believe it more often.
The people I know going forward who can’t stand me are going to be looking at their shadows when they look at me, and I know it, because of how frequency works, so I have to learn that I can’t take it personally. I have no judgment of it, I have compassion and space for all. I have the gift of looking at others and seeing why they do what they do. Deep down, I have yet to meet a human I don’t like, because I see their souls.
I have newfound boundaries to know who I’m supposed to give my time and space to right now, so I can step into my power and support the collective. I’m only on Earth for a limited time and I realize I have an important mission, and that mission is the most important above everything else that I’ve done in many other lifetimes.
It’s more important than my need to be a people-pleaser. It’s more important than my fear of others’ judgment. It’s more important than staying in a room expressing my gifts alone, or even teaching little children how to express them. It’s more important than most material things. It’s more important than others’ expectations, and I know it, because I feel it deeply in my core.
So it might feel like I’ve changed, but it’s only because I’ve realized how short life actually is.
I was so confused today, because I’ve been living so much in the present moment listening to spirit and taking care of myself with so many different actions that I thought it was Sunday, and it was already Tuesday. Time flies by when you live in other dimensions, it really does.
I’m experiencing a different kind of freedom right now, one where I have confidence in my own awareness and purpose.
So others might notice that I don’t behave like I used to.
I don’t. I can’t.
Spirit’s opening important doors, and I’m walking through them.
