secrets in solitude

She showed me unconditional love, and I awakened
Screamed into a pillow for hours
because I felt all of the deeper parts of me
that had never been kissed by kindness.

Laid there in terror
as all of my secrets in solitude
were exposed, and seen.

Now I am trying to come clean
To wash pink light over my aura
and know that safety is something
I can give myself, too.

I think of every heart I’ve promised to carry
Every compassionate mission
I’ve dedicated my life to.

When I look at her, they are like feathers
releasing into the wind
as I do not owe my love and energy
to anybody or anywhere I’ve previously given it.

It is me who realizes my love is valuable
I need to protect and care for it like it is my own child
to know that for me, it is the rare resource
that I have struggled to receive my whole life

To communicate to others
that since it takes more effort
to create my own, because of what has happened,
not just anybody can have it for free.

at least until I’ve planted more seeds, and it has grown.